The Try Harder Trap
Have you ever left church feeling inspired, only to realize an hour later that nothing has really changed? You wanted to grow in your faith, but instead you leave with a sense of conviction, wondering if you could have done better. This is the beginning of what I call The Try Harder Trap.
The Typical Sunday Morning Scene
Picture yourself on a Sunday morning, sitting in a chair or pew at your local church. After three worship songs, the pastor asks everyone to bow their heads in prayer while the production team moves the pulpit to the center of the stage.
Once the prayer is over, the pastor starts preaching. Maybe he opens with a story, a quote, or even a movie clip. Hopefully, you are paying attention. Maybe you take notes on your phone, iPad, or in a notebook you brought with you. Maybe you use the notepad in front of your chair and slip it into your Bible later.
The pastor may cover a range of topics:
Reading your Bible daily and staying close to God
Giving a tithe or supporting a child in need through Compassion
Sharing the gospel with courage wherever you go
If he went to seminary, he has probably condensed the sermon into two or three main takeaways. Hopefully, they stick in your mind as you leave church.
Trying to remember Sermon Notes in Real Life
Later, you sit down for lunch at your favorite Mexican restaurant with friends or family. The conversation turns to church. Someone asks, “What did you take away from the sermon?”
Your mind flashes back 45 minutes. You might think:
“I am not consistent in prayer. I need to do better.”
“I should give more. I keep forgetting, but that would be good for me.”
“I struggle to share Jesus. I am not a pastor, but I really need to talk to my co-worker.”
I have had versions of this conversation many times. Maybe you have too.
We leave church with the same message each week: try harder, do better, be more disciplined.
Why Trying Harder Feels Natural
Trying harder feels safe. Trying harder feels responsible. We do it at work, with friends, in school. We try harder to be a better employee, better friend, better parent, better student. Then we bring that same mentality to God.
Try harder to pray
Try harder to give
Try harder to share faith
Try harder to get it together
Do you tell yourself, “This time I will really do it”? You might set goals, put reminders on your phone, or ask a friend to keep you accountable. But most attempts to “walk out the sermon” fade, like New Year’s resolutions.
The Pattern
The trap starts long before the restaurant conversation. It goes like this:
Hear the sermon
Feel convicted
Make plans to do better
Fail and feel discouraged
Repeat
We often assume that effort equals spiritual growth. But true transformation comes from learning to abide in the life of Jesus through union with Him, not through our own striving. As Jesus said in John 15:5, “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” When we remain in Jesus, our lives naturally bear fruit. Apart from Him, any fruit we think we are producing is only an illusion.
“Trying harder feels natural and safe, but it rarely brings lasting change.”
What’s Next?
In the next posts, I want to explore this trap in more detail. We’ll look at why trying harder feels natural, how it sneaks into daily life, and why we keep getting stuck in cycles of effort, failure, and exhaustion.
But I don’t just want to talk about the problem. I want to walk with you toward a better way. We’ll explore what the full Gospel really says, how to rest in Christ, how to depend on the Holy Spirit, and how to experience true freedom and growth, not just for a week or two, but for the long haul.
I’m right there with you. I don’t have it all figured out. I’m learning, struggling, and applying these truths day by day. My hope is that as we go through this together, you’ll feel challenged, encouraged, and maybe even a little lighter as you start letting Christ live His life in you.
“Real growth doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from letting Christ live His life in us.”
